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Extra Beer Ticket Found Abandoned On Floor Of Bar In Good Hands Now
(*ahhh* angelic music playing)

Rip-Roaring Drunken Nachos Prepped By Your Buddy Jeff
Try tonight’s late night menu special — the Rip-Roaring Drunken Nachos prepped by our master nacho enthusiast himself — your buddy Jeff!...

Dive Bar Laminates Menus, Now Considered "High Class"
BUCKETS DIVE BAR — Bar regulars are up in arms over a recent change down at Buckets Dive Bar that included laminating the paper bar menus...

Trust Fund Kid From Down The Street Figures It About Time To Climb Everest
BUCKETS DIVE BAR — Over a beer at the bar last night, the only trust fund kid in town, Robert, decided it was about time to do his duty...

Bar Regular Bops Head Off Billiard Light, Now A "Genius"
BUCKETS DIVE BAR — In a rather extraordinary event down at Buckets Dive Bar, establishment regular, Petiska Baloney bopped his head off...

Merry Christmas From SMASHED
Merry Christmas from the hometown satirical paper SMASHED ! While we have you here, our gift is on the way (no promises), but for now...

Uh Oh! Drunkest Guy In Bar Wants To Play Darts
BUCKETS DIVE BAR — Against everyone’s best interests, the drunkest guy down at Buckets Dive Bar Friday evening has been repeatedly...
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