SHERRI’S LAWN — Sunday morning a stray lawn mower ran over an entire yard of easter eggs leaving plastic egg shards littered all over local aunt and egg hunt coordinator Sherri Shutterfree’s once pristine lawn.
Marshmallow chicks were shredded like confetti dangling from shrubs along with jelly beans that were scattered for miles beyond the wreckage.
What the “f***”? said Sherri as she picked up a foil wrapper that had once been a festive chocolate egg. “I set this up for my nieces and nephews. What kind of monster would do this?”
Lawn mower attendant Darry Rexter claims he was mowing the neighbors lawn when he looked away from the lawn mower for .05 milliseconds before it rambled away running over the easter egg hunt that took hours, if not weeks, to assemble.
“What are eggs doing on the lawn!?” yelled Darry unapologetically as he chatted with his girlfriend on the phone saying a “slight mishap occurred on the jobsite.” “It’s not my fault the lawn mower took off and did this!” continued Darry as he picked his phone back up to assure his girlfriend that everything was fine.
Sherri’s nieces and nephews were seen running outside with baskets eager to start the easter egg hunt only to find mangled marshmallow chicks and bunnies in heaps where they erupted in tears saying their lives were forever ruined as they walked amongst the carnage of pulverized plastic eggs.
Local EMT Amanda Walters responded to the scene saying it was one of the worst calls she ever witnessed.
“It’s one of the most jarring scenes I’ve ever seen and will definitely keep me up at night tossing and turning for the next 50 years. The marshmallow chicks were shredded like mozzarella cheese. It’s just an image I can’t get out of my head.”
Amanda was seen carting away a chocolate bunny with no ears on a stretcher while Sherri’s nieces and nephews wept at the horrific scene.
Poor chocolate Easter bunny! Hope he recovers!