Electric Shovel Overpowers Man, Takes Off Into Town Like Bucking Bronco

DRIVEWAY — Early Monday morning, an electric shovel powered by a mister Blake Peratta took off into town like a bucking bronco after he attempted to use it to clear 1 inch of snow.

“Chrissakes I was shoveling the driveway with my new electric shovel and the thing revved up and took off at a clocked 80 mph down the street,” said a frantic Blake as he drove around town hanging “MISSING” posters calling for the AWOL shovel.

“I watched from afar as Blake lazily pushed the shovel around the driveway. I wouldn’t call it shoveling it was more like directing the thing around when it looked like the shovel saw an opportunity to overpower Blake and took it. I’ve never seen a shovel zoom so fast,” said neighbor Windy Linton as she examined the tracks left by the rogue shovel.

The maker of the shovel, LAZY SHOVS, said this isn’t the first time this has happened.

“The owner should have properly bucked in the shovel and this would’ve been prevented. Unfortunately, if the shovel senses the user is an amateur, and a bit of a wimp, it will overpower the user and head off into the sunset with its own agenda. It’s not our fault Blake’s a complete rookie, the reigns were in his hands,” said a spokesperson from LAZY SHOVS as one of their shovel’s broke free from a storage garage and flew through a fence.

Blake’s electric shovel was seen flying off a snowbank before crashing through a diner’s front window where it destroyed the entire dining area at which point Blake was seen ripping down his missing posters saying “Wow, who’s shovel is that? What a dumbass!”