Bakery Unveils New Jumbo Cinnamon Buns 5-Feet Tall

UPTOWN BAKERY — Uptown Bakery unveiled a new weekly dessert promotion featuring jumbo cinnamon buns that are 5-feet tall in hopes to attract new customers.

“We know how much everyone loves cinnamon buns so we decided why not make them 5-feet tall?” said bakery owner Ponce Cook as he used a ladder to pour icing onto one of the buns, “Heck it’s probably the best idea I’ve ever had, and maybe the best idea this town has ever seen,” said Ponce as a customer used a wheelbarrow to get the cinnamon bun out the door.

Ponce advised customers to strap the cinnamon bun onto their car roof like you would a Christmas tree.

“I feel like I’m living in a dream,” said customer Carson Rye as he attempted to lift the bun out of his wheelbarrow onto the roof of his friend’s sports car. “I can’t wait to bring this thing home,” continued Carson as he lost his balance due to the sheer weight of the cinnamon bun planting it into the windshield of his friend’s Lamborghini completely totaling the car. 

Ponce spent the day fielding phone calls from angry customers as jumbo buns were seen flying off car roofs all over town after not being properly secured at which point Ponce had no choice but to change his promotion to “dine-in only”.